You know those friends who annoy you, but in the end you still need them for a weird reason?
Well it can be the same with bad feelings. Take guilt, for instance. I’m not talking about legitimate guilt here, no, just plain irrational guilt. I mean, you’ve done nothing wrong, but you still feel guilty. And heavy.
You mostly feel guilty to be different. Why can’t it make me happy, if everyone does it and they’re happy? Why am I not the happiest person on earth, if I’m lucky enough to have a shelter, and people who love me? Why don’t I fit in? Why couldn’t I stay were I was and be happy?
Why is the standard not enough? And most importantly, should I try to make it feel right?
And then, you realize there’s nothing to feel guilty about, so you let go. And you feel empty. You need another reason to feel guilty.
Until you break the pattern.